Oh, the trials of finding love. I've rambled a bit already on the importance of not trying when it comes to love. A friend of mine was struggling with that very concept. And by friend of mine, I kind of mean me. I did find a way to apply all my reasoning to someone else's situation, though, and suddenly everything made sense!
In the interest of creating new relationships I've found it's very easy to try to be what you think someone else wants. You want to be liked! So you try and fit your personality into the mold of acceptability. But inevitably your true self will break out. Perhaps it will take a while for that special someone to move on, realizing that he didn't get what he bargained for.
More likely you won't attract real long term interest when you're pretending to be someone you're not. He'll move on before he ever gets to know you. And if there's anything more dissatisfying in love, "I never even got the chance!", you let me know. Your best shot at finding someone who will stick with you? Being entirely and utterly what you are, all the time. People don't like fake; I actually hate fake. It may be bring a shine to a person's exterior at first but it sure gets boring.
It's not easy for most people, I think, to fight the panic of letting yourself be free. So how do you break down all those walls you've been building since middle school? Distractions! Because lot's of stuff/guys/problems/fun going on will keep you from focusing too much energy on that one guy. And when you're not focusing energy on him, you're not caring. And when you're not caring, you're being yourself! Ding ding!
You owe it to yourself and you owe it to all those great guys to let them actually know you! Let him make the decision whether he's interested! Trust his taste in women. If he's not interested, you played your full hand so you have nothing to regret and clearly his taste just doesn't suit yours. And really? It'll be so much easier for him to fall in love with you when you've got all those walls stripped down. Be-e-e yourself!
Oh! Here's a great post on the matter from Blisstree.
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