Can We Be Friends? Yes!

I made a pen-pal buddy!

I broke my online-dating dry spell. It was only a matter of time... and I thought I would never do it again. (The last date I went on was months ago. I took one look at the guy and thought "I'm never doing this again". Oh, I'm so melodramatic)

So what was key to making this date happen? The guy lives on the other side of the country: he's only in town through tomorrow to work on a project. Ding-ding! If he's nothing like how he seemed in his emails, I won't feel guilty about ditching him! It sounds cruel but it's true: there is comfort in knowing the let-down would be easy. 

But you know when you have a feeling about someone? And it turns out to be right? And it's surprising but at the same time, not all that surprising?

Well, I bit the bullet and met my Cali-buddy on a whim Sunday afternoon. Let me tell you: it was really, really, really nice to hang out with someone new who was fun and normal and cool and straight-forward and relaxed.

I love the whole "Hey, I'm free today. Are you free? Wanna hang? Sure. How about right now? Let's do it!" Don't you?

For the record, he didn't steal my heart. But maybe he could one day.

A Word on Advice

Sigh. Advice.

So often we receive it without warrant. Sometimes we'll go looking for it, but only the stuff that supports our decision. Then other times we take that advice and think later maybe it was wrong.

I've found advice is often predictable, and mostly unhelpful. And boy, people love to hand it out, don't they. What's worse? I love to hear advice. I look for it. I share my most personal, gut wrenching situations with too many people so I can hear their response. It's like I need the majority behind me before I can act on my own.

I've just figured all of this out. I know best. The only advice I should be seeking is that from the people who know me best, who can anticipate a decision I will make and guide me to it. Sometimes their opinions will intercede just a bit, but mostly they want me to feel happy with whatever I choose.

Advice is a dangerous thing for people like me, so easily swayed by others' opinions.

How do you feel about advice? Does it help or hinder you? Or perhaps you're impervious? (Jealous!)

Let's Talk About Hot Guys

My vote for hottest US men's soccer player is:

Tim Howard  - Clearly, Howard is the best looking of the bunch.  He's so rough and tumble and tall and swagger-y and he has a great complexion.

Honorable Mentions:

Clint Dempsey  - I like his style.

Carlos Bocanegra - Extremely attractive but a little timid and his teeth are kind of weird.

Oguchi Onyewu - Mighty hot but I loathe his current facial hair.

Oh, and Landon Donovan is right out. He's too leprechauny for my taste.

photo link here

Let's Talk About Hot Guys

I like this picture. That's all.

Photo courtesy of The Sartorialist

Link Time!

Check out the following article on Match.com.

Are You Being Too Picky?

Basically the author advises us that attractiveness is not an acceptable quality to look for in a potential match. We should only judge matches on non-physical attributes: three attributes to be precise. If a match hits all three after the first date, he is entitled to another. No matter what.

I get it. The author is assuming we don't give matches a sufficient shot at a connection. It's easy to believe first impressions--but is that wrong? Maybe chemistry and physical attraction aren't present from the moment you meet. For the record, I've been on dates--too many dates--with guys that were nice and charismatic and funny and smart and definitely like-able. I didn't want them. I should want them, right? I don't think it's too much to ask.

Bottom line: Listen to your gut. 

Guess What? I Got Hotter!

Guess who sent me an email today? OKCupid! And guess what they wanted to tell me?? I got hotter! Read the message:

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.

Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:

You will now see more attractive people in your match results.

This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

Awesome! I'm hot! I'm in the elite club! No longer a member of the OKC bourgeoisie! Oh, wait. They statistically calculated my attractiveness? And didn't tell me? Until they thought I was attractive? Or as they put it "the scales tipped in my favor"? How subversive. How tricksy. How demeaning.

And yet... I can't help this feeling of immense accomplishment. I just got offered the black Amex of OKCupid. Wow! I'm hot!



P.S. The email starts with [my profile picture] = good looking. HA! What a joke.

I Care About Pants

So there's been a hottie at work recently. He appears to be a tutor of degenerate boys. He is a sharp dresser: creased dress slacks, crisp shirt, shiny belt, clean face, smart glasses. Boy, does he play the part well.

I started gabbing about him to a few of my co-workers. "Who? There's a hot tutor? Is he your friend or something? What's his name?" No! He's just a hot guy! He's the tutor that comes in who's hot! I don't know who he is! Gosh!

The other day I gave a heads up to a co-worker that the hot tutor was in-house. Guess what? He walks by and to my horror he's wearing corduroy pants--pleated, tan, wide-wale corduroy pants realistically about 2 sizes too big. My hot tutor was dressed like a total fashion incompetent.

As my fantasy disintegrated, my co-worker just shook her head and said, Don't judge a book by it's cover. Sigh. I know. Maybe he just doesn't have any business-casual pieces in his wardrobe.

How Not to Message a Match: Language Barrier

Or maybe you think not knowing how to write in english is cute?

OK here is the deal; I do not know what to say about why i am here. I'd be greatful if I could just find a pen pal or a friend. I do have PICs, just they are very difficult to put on to the site, or well I am having serious problems putting them on, but I do have them.

Now, as for a little about me. I am a regular laid back kind of guy very easy going. I can get comfortable or get into almost anything. I am a big nerd at heart, something I do not think I ever will grow out of. I also kind of think I am like Peter Pan...LOL!!!!

I am shy, introvert, protective...who hates to see any of his friends hurt or in trouble. I think I am a good friend to have.

In the end I guess I can say I am the Beast who knows there is a Prince in there somewhere waiting to escape, desperately wanting to be free, the only problem is; I wish I could sometimes see myself as others claim they have seen me, as the great person I am, but I find it very difficult at times. I see what other people see some times, but not all and I do not know who, what, or how for that matter to let him out, but I wish I when I brought him out he was there on a permanent basis.

my modeling/acting job takes off soon. I know it is a tough industry to break into, but I have a feeling the oppotunity is right around the corner. I am also looking into going back to school to finish my bachelors in English Lit, but at the same time am looking to possible going into the Law field or the
Pharmaceutical field

I think I am a good listener and I am good at what I write from Poems, Stories, Songs, plays, scripts and the like

Books: I like anything by Silver Raven Wolf or DJ Conway. I also like a book series that I believed is based out of the Dungeons and Dragons world. One of the series is called "Forgotten Realms." I also very much like Edgar Allan Poe and all of his works.

There are points where I would like to trade brains with Albert Einstein, Mozart,Humphrey Bogart, or Leonardo Da Vinci. Or when I am not thinking about that stuff, I am thinking about now and what may be in my future, or what is down the road leading me to whatever future I choose.


So I'm mean. He's probably really sweet. The profile is still really funny.

How Not to Message a Match: Saying "Boobs" Cont'd...

The boobs guy was quoting a movie. Does that make it any better?

Link Time!

Apparently, smart men are less likely than dumb ones to cheat on lovers. Go figure.

How Not to Message a Match: Saying "Boobs"

I like your boobs.


Trashy! Your momma should've raised you better.

Profile No-No: Language Problems

I "talked" to a rugby player from South Africa today. He was hot.

Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. HOT.

There was some early confusion in our conversation but that was all glossed over when he said I had nice legs and a killer body. Then he repeated himself a few more times. And yes, I was wondering why he was talking to me, 8000 miles away in New England. Who knows and who cares, I say. His profile was hilarious and his photos were nice to ogle.


My Self-Summary
Hey almal.Dit is lekker om julle te ontmoet. Hoop julle geniet julle dag,en as jy dalk a goeie buddy soek is ek hier jy hoefi eers te twyfel nie.hehehehe

Hey everybody, Nice to meet u all.IM a really cool man and like sports and camping,movies and music.And i am crazy about rugby im still playing today thou. Thanx for joining me.

I am friendly, Happy, and honest person

What I’m doing with my life
Work at GoodYear SA im a Staff Technical Engineer and still busy to study Achitecture.And i play Rugby for a living.Yeah!!!!!

I’m really good at
all sports,cooking,love makeing friends and how to make a women happy but still looking for that one person to make me happy.

The first things people usually notice about me
My nice teeth and my ass.(Haha) And my nice personality

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Jake White's Book. Pearl Harbour Movie, Like alsorts of music, and Yummy best of all food,pizza,burgers,my moms food.Dont worry im well build so im not fat at all.

The six things I could never do without
God,My Bible,Wallet,Cellphone,my friends

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life,nature,where will i be in 10 years time.

On a typical Friday night I am
chilling with friends or go out clubbing.Yeahhhhhhhhh

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a 6 pack and hmmmmmmm.

You should message me if
if u like what u see and if u are willing to be friendz and nice

He was hot, though. Did I mention that?

Profile No-No: Calling Girls "Merchandise"

I'm just here for the forums and to look around at the merchandise. ;)

Um... bad opener, dude. 

Dressing With Style

Isn't he COOL? He's wearing suspenders, polka-dots, 80's hair, AND a tattoo! And he's COOL!

Photo courtesy of The Sartorialist

How Not to Message a Match: Bad Jokes

I like jokes: bad jokes, good jokes, silly jokes. I don't like words that are supposed to turn into a joke but aren't funny. Maybe that's the same as a bad joke. Maybe not.

Anyway, read this and tell me if you wouldn't be confused finding it in your message inbox.

I'm really happy for you, imma let you finish, but I have one of the best OKCupid profiles of all time...

couldn't resist parodying the taylor swift VMA fiasco...

how has your spring been going? Get back to me if you would like a conversation.


The first thing I thought when I read this message: why is he interrupting me? The second thing: I never gave him the opportunity to interrupt me because I haven't talked to this guy.

So why is he reenacting Kanye's jack-assery? Not sure, but it doesn't work for me.

Oh, and maybe you're wondering--he doesn't have one of the best profiles of all time.

Do You Spy On The Competition?

For those of you with an online dating account, do you check your competition? As in (assuming you're a lady who's into men) do you check out the other hetero girls within a 15 mile radius of yourself?

I've done it a few times. It's interesting how many people I recognize. Then I get paranoid that the girls will start hitting on me for checking out their profiles. Or even recognize me.

There are a lot of single people out there. Most of the good ones aren't online though. Oops, I didn't say that.

photo link here

And Your Thoughts?

How do you feel about dudes with tattoos... of naked girls?

I don't like it and I don't get it.