I was living a pretty comfortable life in small town Connecticut up until about 2 months ago. I had a great job working at a library, great pay, great coworkers, great benefits. I was near to my family--two loving parents and a brother who filled in as a best friends. I got to know people in town, had some friends scattered about, found fun visiting New York, Boston, and the White Mtns. But my life had grown stagnant. I was ashamed in my lack of accomplishment. I was still living in the town I grew up in. I had seen close friends move to busier places and others were exploring beautiful parts of the world. I had a degree in the sciences--what did I have to show for it? Furthermore, I had been searching for years for intimacy--a close best friend and a long term relationship. I was experiencing one let down after another when it came to guys--I was a part of Match.com meeting new guys at coffee shops. I fell for friends of friends who liked me but just weren't that into me. My best friend of 8 years who I met in high school faded from my life, leaving me yearning for a human with whom to share my mind. In short, I knew parts of my heart and soul were underfed. How was I supposed to change though? What was I supposed to do?
I took a trip to Colorado last summer to visit a friend of mine. It was a small step towards finding a spark in what I felt was a drab life. My dad joked that I wouldn't come back... I guess he knew me too well. My trip to Colorado was wonderful but it was a vacation. As soon as I was on the plane back, I started crying. I'm not a crier and there I was looking out the tiny oval window, my face wet and my jacket clutched to my chest. What the heck? I guess I'd found something I really wanted. Of course, it seemed a monumental undertaking. Was I really supposed to quit my secure job, find something new halfway across the country (in the sciences? at a library?), be miles and miles from my family, say goodbye to my old friends and coworkers, make brand new connections, find some roommate and a new place to live? For what? Did I really want it that badly?
Yes. I did. Over the next 9 months, I formed and followed a path that would forever change my life. I prepared for a move to the west--a feat I had always considered to grand for my abilities. It was more of a dream all those years in school--graduate and go west. Here I was realistically planning for just that. I took 2 more reconnaissance trips to my future homeland to steady my faith in the vision. By spring, I was feeling more ready than ever. I gave myself a date: April 21st. I posted an ad on craigslist for a roommate and within a few days, I was conversing with a girl who I wasn't sure was overly-zealous or perfectly matched for me (the latter ended up being true). I started packing my belongings into boxes, trying to visualize how much I could fit into my Civic Coupe. I got my dog neutered (finally!)--my mom had been holding out, hoping he could have another litter of puppies. I prepared my two weeks notice and brought it in every day for a week, knowing that I would do it only if it felt right. Magically, I found myself alone in my car with my boss... and as she said to me "Since we're alone, there's something I should tell you", to which I replied, "There's something I should tell you". And from that moment, it become a count-down. In 14 days, I had said goodbye to the people closest to me and packed up my car. I didn't have a job lined up but I had my letter of resignation filed away with the town. I was a free agent. I was headed west!
The first day was miserable. Actually the whole drive was basically through a dark cloud of rain and emotions. I cried non stop for the first 2 hours, and intermittently after that for the next ten. But as I drove into Colorado the day before my birthday, the sun broke through the clouds and I found myself crying for a whole different reason. I made it! I met my new roommate the next day, April 27th, which happened to be my golden birthday. She was everything I could have dreamed of. We found our apartment within a week. I got a job with the most fantastic co-workers within a month. And now less than two months from my arrival date, I have the boyfriend of my dreams. I recognized change, I followed the drive in my soul, I opened my heart to strangers and I have been rewarded in all of my efforts. I found what I had been waiting for. I found myself out west!
Thursday, June 23
Sunday, June 12
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