I think I'm doing well. I think I want to focus on myself. I think I like having free time, no pressure to conform to someone's standards.
Loneliness is quite awful. It's just a feeling, but it's so consuming. It's unanimous, too! We all feel alone and unloved, at least sometimes, right? It's important not to wallow in it but try to solve it. Break-ups inevitably result in loneliness, at least for me. Watching a movie alone, not having a date for dinner, no phone call when you get out of work. Adjusting to reliance on yourself is a process.
I tried online dating again recently. I wanted to feel proactive about my decision to move on. I think it helped in some regard to bring me back to action and focus less on my last relationship. I went on two dates. I quit. Online dating is effective--I've seen the happy results but it's not what I need right now. I don't want to meet guys who are enraptured with me. I want to be enraptured with myself. I want to love me so much that I'm radiating with joy and goodwill and openness and affection. I think I'm getting there. I think I'm doing well.
Sunday, January 8
Tuesday, January 3
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