We had a great time at the concert. It was nice just sitting near him. I put my hand into the crook of his arm later in the evening and he eagerly embraced it. Very eagerly. He petted my hand and my arm the rest of the night. He drove the long way home, which was romantic. He's a big, sturdy guy and I feel slight and protected with him.
The problem: he kissed me and it wasn't good. Standing at my door, I let my dog out and turned back to face him. I looked up for his eyes and without much eye contact at all his face was in mine, his mouth finding my mouth, teeth hitting, lips doing who knows what. His hands came up to my face, I guess as we were both trying to slow it down. And then he tried opening our mouths wider to french me. Whoa, Nelly. And it gets better.
I brought it back to a closed-mouther and then pulled back. I said, "Thanks..." and then realized maybe it sounded like I was awkwardly thanking him for such an invasive procedure so I added "for taking me out! It was fun" With that, hee took me in his arms further and squeezed a hug out of me--really squeezed. He then sort of lifted me off my feet for a second--I squeaked.
He came back to my mouth a moment later for one final closed-lips kiss. I don't know what my face was doing at that point. I was in shock.
What was happening? Was this perfect guy a bad kisser? I'm not dating a bad kisser. Was he just nervous? How can someone kiss like that? That was nuts! And I glanced at him again as he ambled/stumbled/bumbled happily away. I said "See ya later" in my sexy cat voice, as he awkwardly but excitedly declared how he would take me out again soon.
Looking back on the limited experience I having with kissing new fellas, it seems to me that the first kiss is always the worst of a relationship. Awkward for sure. I admire his vigor and at the very least he's crazy into me, which is probably good. I was worked up last night--pondering whether all of his explosive action would fade when he got bored. Or if this was a bad sign. Or if maybe I wasn't ready to be with someone new if I thought about missing nice kissing. Or if really he was just so nervous and excited that it was all a fluke and the nice time would be better. Or if maybe he was bad at sex. Or maybe we just don't have chemistry.
Let's look to some thoughts provided by close friends:
- Boys get really excited and nervous. It'll get better. He'll get more confident.
- I dated a guy for a little while once who ended up being a bad kisser. I had to break up with him.
- My first few kisses with my girlfriend were pretty awkward but now they're amazing. Give him another chance. He sounds like a great guy.
This whole kissing moment ruined things, if I'm allowed to be grandiose here. Everything else about the night with him was sort of lovely and romantic and even maybe a little magical. I don't take well to guys pushing themselves on me, and the thing is I don't think this guy was trying to push himself on me. I think he was excited. I think he was nervous. But what do I know, really. I do assume the best in people. The bottom line is I didn't like this surprise. It was so much different than I imagine! I was imagining us kissing the whole evening and you want to know what I was imagining? Him coming around to my door and looking right into my eyes. Me putting my hands up to his face, getting closer, maybe pushing his nose right up next to mine before we touched our lips. A sweet kiss where he would falter before another. This kiss of his was so boyish and eager and weird. He made this little moaning sound when he got a hold of my upper lip. Aack! Not attractive! Weird! Turn off!
Please, please, please. Good kissing is important. Let's hope the next time goes better.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment