Jess McCann's Blog has an answer. She says, wait 24 hours--and this isn't just for emails, this includes text messages and phone calls. She makes a really great point about how technology has helped us a lot with instant gratification. You get calls no matter what you're doing, voice messages can be checked no matter where you are, and you can text someone right back while driving in your car (wait for the stop light though). This is hindering our dating, folks! Anticipation is so much part of the appeal!
It's totally cool to wait to reply. Actually, the most recent guy I've been in contact with has been pursuing me (all the more?) despite my slow responses. I get back to him in about 5-7 days and he's right there with something new to say.
This brings me back to one of my personal rules: The guy should be pursuing you. If he's not, you're farther in than he is, i.e. bad news. You don't want to be disposable. You don't want to be the one waiting for a call on Saturday night. You certainly don't want to be the one taken advantage of. If he likes you, he'll keep at it. Guys don't give up that easily, even when they should.
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8 comments:
Exactly what I needed to read this evening... If only I could hear it on repeat every time I check my phone!
Hey, all right! Glad to help out, NurseR! Most of the times I've broken down and texted a dude first, I ended up feeling kind of needy and dumb. I like to avoid those feelings... Let me know how it goes for you!
Absolutely spot on!
Keep fighting the good fight, Allison!
~Kristin
Thanks, Kristin!
be happy and love. kiss
Does this work everytime though??? I was completely sprung on a girl, and then she started waiting a whole week to get back to me. I felt it was the biggest sign she wasn't interested, so I used every trick in my arsenal to forget her and move on. Later, she confessed that she was just trying to play it cool, but it just came off as aloof and rude. Shouldn't feeling needy and dumb be avoided on the waiting end too?
I just reread this post after receiving your comment. Waiting a week seems like quite a long time! I think when it comes to email interaction, as seen in online dating, a few days to a week response is fine. However, for a phone call that would be ridiculous. I think you're right there with the feeling needy dumb/playing it cool thing back and forth. How about just trying to keep it even? If the guy writes back in a day, that's a good sign--so do the same! Yeah?
Hmm...not sure this approach works anymore. Don't let a good opportunity pass you by.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and guys don't like playing games. Not all of them feel the need to chase (like dog after a stick), and especially the smarter ones. The reason - it's not worth it. For example, if they live in the South East, then they're probably exposed to girls from a variety of different backgrounds and cultures.
It's an unfortunate stereotype, but British girls have a very poor rep for doing exactly this sort of thing and appearing "stuck up". The days of Jane Austin are over.
They'd probably go for a French girl any day despite what they say.
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