I went on another date.
It was fine. He was fine. He was nice enough, pleasant enough, talkative, guyish, normal looking, smart enough, interesting enough, employed, happy, honest. It was fine and it was like all the other dates.
I wasn't enthralled and I wasn't excited and after about 15 minutes I was keeping track of my beer and counting down to the time we would go. When I met him, I was looking downwards. He told a few stories that only ended after I cut him off. Maybe I'm impatient and wait, maybe my standards are too high. Should I not be looking for a guy who's taller than me? Who's rugged with nice skin who can make me laugh?
This guy told me later that he felt surprisingly comfortable around me. I think I have that effect on people or at least I've heard it before. I like that. I like that I make people feel comfortable. And I liked that he didn't try to kiss me or assume that we would hug or that he asked me out immediately at the end of our date.
Online dating creates an environment where I feel pressured to feel an attraction, analyze my feelings. Don't the best relationships come out of nowhere? When you're distracted by someone else or with someone you never thought you'd want?
Yet shouldn't there be something there? He was shorter than me and why do I always feel guilty for not liking these guys? Because if I don't like any of them, I'm choosing to be single.
I'm taking another break from this stuff. Maybe for good. As a friend put it, online dating is a stream of superficial attention followed by a series of letdowns. I'm not built for this style of dating. Or for going on so many dates that go nowhere.
A coworker wants to set me up with her nephew anyway. I'll just use that as my current distraction.
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