<h4>Dating</h4>

I'm back in the pool. Back on OKcupid. Back to that task of meeting new people, unsure how I will feel about them.

I met a guy yesterday. It was fine. I am ever impressed by men who ask questions. Why? I've met plenty of guys who do that. Maybe it's a sign that these guys have been dating a while. They're used to these getting-to-know-you conversations, just like I am. I'll probably see him again. Meh.

I'm meeting a guy today. He's shorter than me. It's raining. I'm cold. I want to wear my boots but they would make me nearly half a foot taller than him. I hope you understand why that precludes me to wear flats. It matters. It matters to me. I don't enjoy feeling like a giant when meeting a guy in a potentially romantic light. But then again, maybe I'll wear the boots. My feet are cold.

I'm meeting a few more guys next week, it would seem. I want something special and I want to meet someone different. I want to be excited. i had this intense feeling a little while ago--that I don't to meet a stranger. I want to meet someone I like, someone I know I had fun with. I want to be excited.

In two weeks I'll most definitely be seeing my ex-boyfriend. For an entire work day, no almost 12 hours I will most definitely be in near proximity to my ex-boyfriend. This ex-boyfriend whom I have not physically seen since the beginning of April. This ex-boyfriend whom I have not spoken words out loud to since the beginning of April. This ex-boyfriend who broke my heart, who I loved more than anyone who showed me how much I was capable of caring for someone. Needless to say, I'm anxious. I know he will be civil at the very least. Likely he will be friendly. No doubt he will be professional and helpful, as we it is a work function. But I'm anxious about my own feelings. Will this day be miserable? Will I be emotional? Will I miss him more than I have been? Or will this day free me?

I rejoined OKCupid for activity and distraction. I want to be trying. I want to be moving forward.