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This is me:
You love to be very close to your romantic partners and have the capacity for great intimacy. You often fear, however, that your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like him/her to be. Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy. You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner’s behaviors overly personally. You experience a lot of negative emotions within the relationship and get easily upset. As a result you tend to act out and say things you later regret. If the other person provides a lot of security and reassurance, you are able to shed much of your preoccupation and feel contented.
Everyone can find happiness and love, even if you're not secure. Recognizing your flaws, your weaknesses, and your needs is really what matters. There are people out there, good people who match you; give you what you need and want, make you happy, give you peace. So, perhaps I should stop pretending to be so cool and aloof because that's not me? Perhaps I should recognize that I've been consistently attracted to avoidant types, who leave me feeling especially vulnerable and under-appreciated? Perhaps I should acknowledge and allow a secure, loving man into my life when he shows up? Wow. Smart!
The book: Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I didn't buy it and I'm not necessarily advocating that you buy it, but if you see at your local library--take a look! Pssst--they have a blog, too!
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