Lines That Don't Work On A Girl

It's not you, it's me. I'm not that attracted to you.

Lines That Don't Work On A Girl

We're friends. We're friends. We'd only ever be friends.

... while he tries to feel me up

Lines That Don't Work On A Girl

I wasn't as into you as I thought I was.

I'm Anxious! And It's OK!

Yesterday, I read a book (err, parts of a book). I learned things! About myself!

This is me:

You love to be very close to your romantic partners and have the capacity for great intimacy. You often fear, however, that your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like him/her to be. Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy. You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner’s behaviors overly personally. You experience a lot of negative emotions within the relationship and get easily upset. As a result you tend to act out and say things you later regret. If the other person provides a lot of security and reassurance, you are able to shed much of your preoccupation and feel contented. 

The above description describes one of the three possible attachment personas. Most people are secure; some people are avoidant; some are anxious (me-me-me-me-me!).

Everyone can find happiness and love, even if you're not secure. Recognizing your flaws, your weaknesses, and your needs is really what matters. There are people out there, good people who match you; give you what you need and want, make you happy, give you peace. So, perhaps I should stop pretending to be so cool and aloof because that's not me? Perhaps I should recognize that I've been consistently attracted to avoidant types, who leave me feeling especially vulnerable and under-appreciated? Perhaps I should acknowledge and allow a secure, loving man into my life when he shows up? Wow. Smart!

The book: Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I didn't buy it and I'm not necessarily advocating that you buy it, but if you see at your local library--take a look! Pssst--they have a blog, too!

What Do Guys See First?

What are the first things a guy notices about a girl? Glamour posed this question to a slew of guys on Guyspeak.com and got the answers.

#1 - Eyes
#2 - Mouth
#3 - Ears
#4 - Boobs
#5 - Hands
#6 - Thighs to butt ratio
#7 - Feet
#8 - Hair
#9 - Voice and speech
#10 - Overall vibe and body language

I would say none of these are too surprising. Although do guys actually notice my feet? Before my hair? After my hair? Certainly after my boobs. I would imagine they notice my vibe and body language before my feet, too. Maybe I should start painting my toe nails.

Disagree with anything here? Do guys notice other stuff not listed? Let me know!


photo link here

The Soundtrack To My Life

The Saga of Colorado and California

I gave you the introduction. Now I'll give you the ending.

No one wins.

Colorado is moving to Japan. Whatever we had has been relegated to friendship, even if we were together "we would just be friends". California will always put his job first. Whatever we had was relegated to friendship since "we're not going to date". Separate time zones, separate love lives.

Wouldn't it be perfect if the story ended with all three of us laughing around a table with a bottle of wine? I hypothesized different outcomes to my perfectly doomed story of meeting two men from too far away in one summer. Of course, the current ending was the most likely but I'm still disappointed... even a little surprised. Fark.

Goal: Fall for guys who live in town.


photo link here

West is Best... For Men?

I hawked this National Geographic map from another blogger because I couldn't find the original (fast enough). Are you looking for a man? Westward, ho!  Do you want a single lady? The east coast is where it's at!

I tested this theory out recently in Denver/Menver, man capitol of the Rocky Mountains. I met a bunch of schmucks, a sleaze, and one considerably large douche. I suppose it's difficult to chart the disbursement of single, quality men.

I Want To Watch A Sad Movie

Blue Valentine looked like a good movie... maybe because it was up for some awards or because I overheard someone somewhere say "it was a good movie". I just read a review by a Boston University student and yeah, it looks good.

To quote the song Dean sings on the first date, [the film] is saying, “You always hurt the ones you love,” and that love is an inherently painful process, but there is something good in the end.
-Adam Burnstine 

Light & Shadow: BU's Graduate Film and Culture Review Blog