<h4>Profile No-No: Lots-O-One-Liners</h4>

In a way even these one-liners indicate what kind of person you are. Or maybe you're not really a douche-bag. Oh well. Someone else must find this profile funny. I think it's obnoxious.

My Self-Summary

Hello there :)

I live life vicariously, through myself.
I am extremely passionate, motivated, and genuine.
My personality is so magnetic, that I am not able to carry credit
cards.
I am a lover not a fighter.
I am a pretty adventurous and easy going guy looking to go
out.
If I were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get
there.
The pheromones I secrete have been known to affect people miles
away. In a slight, but measurable way.
My Blood smells like cologne.
My hands feel like rich, brown swede.
The police often question me, just because they find me
interesting.
My charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.
Alien abductors have asked me to, probe them.

What I’m doing with my life
I am living my ambition to be a bum!

I’m really good atI could disarm you with my looks or my hands, either way.
I am the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test.
Also great at:
- Sport
- Talking/Listening
- Piano
- Being me.
- Speaking my mind.

The first things people usually notice about me
I would say most people notice that I am open minded. I am outgoing
to the point where I am warm and friendly. :) I enjoy meeting new
people.

Every time I go for a swim, dolphins appear.
Even my enemies list me as their emergency contact number.
I am left handed, and right handed.

In all seriousness, I am extremely modest and respectful.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
I enjoy a variety of music. I listen to contemporary pop when
running or working out. I also enjoy White Panda, Super Mash Bros.,
Hypercrush, DMB, Divide & Kreate, Girl Talk, Matt & Kim,
Kings of Leon, and Rythms del Mundo Cuba.

Food-
I never say something tastes like chicken, not even chicken.
I don't use oven timers, I tell the food when it's done.

The six things I could never do without
1. Running Shoes
2. Blackberry
3. Family/Friends
4. Tennis Racket
5. Music
6. Car

I spend a lot of time thinking about
the plight of the world, my future, and others.
I once had an awkward moment, just see to see what it feels
like.
People hang on my every word, even the prepositions.

On a typical Friday night I am
I am the life of the party, that I never went to.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My face alone has experienced more than a lesser man's entire
body.
When I go to sleep, sheep count me.
I once called a wrong number, even though the person on the other
end wouldn't admit it.