What Kind of Sick Joke Is This?!

Is it some kind of ploy to claim in a message to a girl that she winked at you first? Did I accidentally wink at a balding, round 37 year old? Or did the online dating site flub it for me? This makes for an awkward situation. If I ignore him, it looks mean. If I reply and say, "Uh nope sorry! Didn't wink at you!", I look mean.

Mean it is!

Dangers of Facebook Stalking

The internet is an incredible tool for research. Sometimes though, research is the last thing you should be doing. By research of course, I'm referring to googling a special someone's name and perusing their Facebook photo albums. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. 

I've been corresponding for a few days with a nice guy from a few towns over. Right now it's just light, get-to-know you messages. It has all been quite nice but I got curious last night... I found it his last name from some online searching, found his closed account on facebook, linked to his sister's account, ogled her photo albums for a picture of him and was unpleasantly surprised. See, the photos people post in their online dating accounts are usually the best of the best. I kept thinking I wanted to see photos of him that weren't weeded out; I wanted to see the images of him that were a little more honest.

Why? Why did I do that?! WHYYYY!? Now I have the image of a man with a donut around his middle and receding hairline and doofy grin with his arm around a girl who's shorter but rounder than him. This is not the man I thought I was talking to. I am superficial and these judgments are not fair. I'm not a model. Maybe my pictures paint me differently, too.

My point: it's dangerous to draw a picture of someone from their photographs. The best qualities in a person usually don't translate well in a photograph.

Side point: I hate dating. Looking for potential suitors actually makes me a worse judge of character. Instead of allowing everyone into my life, I tend to weed people out before I know them! If I'm meeting people with the idea they might become lovers, there are restrictions that suddenly apply where if they were just friends, I would be so much more open. Dating is oppressive.

A Question to Consider

Is it harder to be single around the holidays?

Link Time!

I love these little cheat sheets that Match.com advertises on yahoo every week or two. This week's is 5 Things in a Soul Mate that you may not have thought of. Don't make the idea of a soul mate so concrete!

And the Answer Is No

Message of the Day:


Hi,

Would you ever consider getting together with a married man?

Did You Mean Smiley?

The man who designed a pizza after me has not yet let me go. He sent me another message. Sometimes guys are really persistent. Sometimes guys have difficulty spelling words.

hi smilly long time how you been?

Link Time! What's Your Favorite Color Mean?

Have you been wearing a lot of purple recently, like me? Apparently, I'm lost in my imagination... Find out what your favorite color says about you!

How Not to Message a Match

my name is chris im interested in u could u be in me??

It's Not About Looks. It's About Height, Too.

As a girl of considerable length, five feet and eleven inches to be more precise, stature of men is not something I can overlook. Once upon a time, I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter if my significant other was shorter than me. I've definitely been attracted to shorter guys. They've almost always begun as friends and become something more desirable. So I've considered relationships with shorter guys. I've fooled around with shorter guys. Correction: guy.

I've changed my mind. Height matters--to me, anyway. Mostly it probably is a reflection of my less than perfect self-esteem. Shorter guys make me feel... big. As a girl who grew up with that adage, big connotes all things undesirable with a woman. I want to be the feminine part of the couple, the one in need of protection, the one with the quiet control. I want to knock him off his feet metaphorically not physically. Aside, a shorter guy once told me that I probably could beat him up. That was a turn-off.

But onward. I'm pretty image conscious. Maybe this is a problem for me. Maybe I am not sound enough of the mind. I have a cross to bear and it is low self-esteem. However, may I suggest that shorter men are prone to complexes about their height? Worse complexes than those women have about their weight. I think us ladies are expected to be paranoid about our poundage, but dudes are not supposed to care a bit. They care soooooo much. It's all about over-compensation with them. So much like dogs, are men. The large ones lumber along unconcerned with their affable size while the smaller ones are so acutely aware of their vulnerability that they end up drawing more attention to it. For instance, the smaller man will thrust out his chest instead of standing up straight--it almost looks straight, but no... you're starting to remind me of a velociraptor... or maybe a chicken... a chihuahua?

So, anyway. What's my point? I forget.

How to Message Me

I'm going to be strait forward, you sound smart and witty, I enjoy conversation with people smarter then me, or at least passionate about something. You may have both who knows!?

I'm back east for a few weeks doing research on a project. I live LA but have family here and have a film in hartford I'm working on, anywho point being when I have free time it would be cool to chat with someone like yourself. I wouldn't really be looking to start a relationship beyond getting tea and chatting once or twice as I live in Burbank and only visit out here a few times a year.If we really hit it off I would totally become a pen pal. I just didn't want you to think I was looking for anything else, I know this site comes with it's fair share of well men being dogs and all.

Anywho let me know if that sounds at all interesting or dont let me know and I'll understand that it doesn't!

Night!


Why is this message a winner?

1. No pressure to respond
2. Explanation of what he was looking for (i.e. not a hook-up, just conversation)
3. Compliments my intellect and personality (safer than looks)
4. Enthusiasm always goes a long way with me

I received this email months ago. We've met a few times since and it's true: he was delightful from the beginning. Sometimes you just get a good feeling about someone, even though there isn't much to go on. Trust that feeling. I'm so glad I met him. Even though he doesn't live around here, he has been my most successful date thus far. Looking back, his misspelling of straight may have been one of the most endearing parts of his message. He actually says "anywho", too. And you know, it's so much cuter now that I know him. Sigh.